lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize
