Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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