I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
