tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
