i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
