i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Randomize
