We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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