like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
