Porn is love you can see.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
