i don't like sucking hair
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
