I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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