worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
