Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Found your dick twin last night
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
