dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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