Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
