I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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