I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
