I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
