I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
