so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
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