She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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