just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Randomize
