I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
her vagine was all disorganized.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Dicks are not precious.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
