Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
