you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
