I puked a lego.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
