I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
