I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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