You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
where does the pee come out of this thing
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
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