I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Randomize
