glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
