There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
