he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Randomize
