I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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