Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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