What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
you traded sex for a burrito?
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
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