Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Randomize
