member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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