yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
