He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
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