you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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