apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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