your room smells of hookers.
And success
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
