Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
