all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
