he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
