A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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