why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
only if we run a train.
done.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize
