Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
