Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
