why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
